Your Secret's Safe With Me
by they'recomingtotakemeaway
Summary: After a one-night-stand with Morgan, Garcia wants nothing more than for him to fall in love with her.  Reid's almost sure that Morgan's gay, and tries to seduce him.  Morgan loves Reid, but will so many secrets and misconceptions ruin everything?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: To readers of my other stories, don't fear this is not in replacement of my other upcoming stories! This is actually the first story I wrote for fanfiction maybe a bit more than a month ago. This story is kind of about how everything looks different through different people's perspectives and the difference between what people are thinking and what they're saying. I don't think you see a lot of that in fanfiction where people don't mean what they say. It seems like everything is just literal. Anyway, I think you'll find this is quite different from my other stories. I hope you like it!**

**And Super Special Awesome Thanks to AshlynnElizabeth for beta-ing this chapter and making it into something that made sense. You rock! :)**

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All Penelope Garcia was thinking when Spencer Reid announced he was taking J.J. and Elle home was: "Now I'll be alone with Morgan!" She didn't comment on how Elle slapped the youngest member of the BAU's ass, or how J.J. yelled "Woo!" at the top of her lungs. No. All she said when Reid grabbed the waists of all the other female team members was "Have fun, kiddies!" Morgan said something that must have been funny, because he, Elle, and J.J. all collapsed into fits of laughter. Then again, it might have been because they were all colossally wasted. Reid, a member of the sober party, looked stunned, then put on a smile to escort his ladies out of the bar. Garcia (also sober) took this chance to drag Morgan out on the dance floor.

_Finally, I get to dance with him. Finally, he is not being monopolized by several other women at once,_ Garcia thought.

It wasn't the best Morgan had ever danced, she knew. He was maybe more drunk than she had ever seen him. He didn't seem to care how he moved. Didn't bother to attempt any kind of conversation. But Garcia didn't care. She had Derek Morgan all to herself. It was all she ever wanted.

They danced a few songs. Garcia never wanted to stop, but Morgan was looking pretty out of it. She asked if he wanted a ride home. When he agreed, she had to repress herself from squealing.

Penelope Garcia had a plan.

In the car they were both quiet. Morgan's eyes were closed and his head resting against the window. Garcia was lost in her head. Hoping he was awake enough for what she had planned.

As soon as the car was in park Morgan regained some of his usual energy. "Thanks for the ride, baby girl." He gave her a wink and reached for the door handle-

"Wait-" Garcia said. She grabbed his face and kissed him. Gentle at first, but that only lasted half a second. Then she remembered how much she wanted this and pressed her lips hard against his, attacking him with her tongue like she was trying to taste his throat. Morgan wasn't any better. He followed her lead. Sloppy. Too much tongue. She could taste just how much he had drank.

When he finally pulled away, they both had to wipe their faces. Garcia wanted more. "Can I come in?" She tried to look all cute and coy while rubbing his leg. She knew if he didn't say yes now, he never would.

Morgan hesitated for a minute. "Yeah." Garcia could no longer contain a squeal. When she reached for the door handle of the car, he grabbed her arm first, a little roughly.

"This can never happen again," Morgan said.

_We'll see about that,_ Garcia thought. Out loud she said, "Yeah, of course."

It wasn't exactly how she dreamed it would be, but she didn't care. Garcia was deliriously happy to be with him. Even if it was all business. Even if he told her to leave immediately after. Even if he didn't care. She would make him care. Penelope Garcia was sure of that.

Derek Morgan was almost (keyword _almost_) drunk enough that it didn't bother him when Reid grabbed onto Elle and J.J. and said, "I'm taking you ladies home." A sweet smile as he said it. Was it really Spencer Reid who had just said that? Looking innocent as ever. But the words coming out of his mouth...

No. To be honest, it bothered Morgan a lot. No amount of alcohol (and he had had plenty) could make him feel okay with that. Morgan didn't want anyone touching Reid. Anyone besides him.

Out loud he said, "Way to go, Reid! Way to join the land of the living." Laughter from the 'ladies.' A glimpse of what might have been shame or embarrassment from Reid. Then a smile. This time Morgan didn't think it looked innocent.

Well.

Then they left and Morgan was left with Garcia. He downed another couple shots before she dragged him out onto the floor. Trying to get that picture of Reid out of his head. They danced, but Morgan was barely there. Garcia looked pleased. Morgan wished he could be made happy so easily.

Next thing he knew Garcia was driving him home, then kissing him. If you could call it that. Morgan thought it felt more like she was bobbing for apples in his throat. He didn't care. What difference could it possibly make to him? He tried to do the same things with his tongue that she did, not caring.

When she asked if he could come in he thought, _Sure why not?_ It could have kept his mind off of things for a while. It didn't.

As long as she wasn't expecting anything from him, it would be fine. Morgan made himself clear to her, like he did all the other girls. "This can never happen again." She agreed. They all did.

They went inside and she dragged him into bed, just like she dragged him onto the dance floor, but he didn't kiss her again, nor did he look into her eyes. He got in and got out. The end. The only satisfaction that came from the whole ordeal was that he didn't enjoy it all, which was a good thing. He knew he didn't deserve to enjoy anything.

"You should go home," Morgan said when he was finished.

Garcia got up without complaint and didn't seem to notice that Morgan was barely there. "Good night, Angel Fish." Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized that those names they had given each other would never be the same, because they would never be close again. Garcia would inevitably end up hating him, because she would never get what she wanted from him.

But that wasn't what Derek Morgan was thinking about. No, the whole time he was in bed with Penelope he was thinking that his Spencer was in bed with not one, but two beautiful women. It hurt him, but at the same time it was the only fuel he had to get through the disaster that was his one night stand with Penelope Garcia.

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**A/N: There will be so much more Reid in the next chapter, don't worry! Due to the fact that I already have this story written, I'll be quick to update. All I have to do is edit. There are six chapters in this story, and I'm going to do a final chapter after that has yet to be written.**

**So just click that story alert button. You know you want to. And while you're at it, while don't you click the review button and tell me what you think! It will mean the world to me.**

**Oh, and if you want to vote on what I should write next, jump on over to my profile page, read the descriptions, and vote on the poll. I want readers to have a say in what I write. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer Reid was about to pour the last of the coffee into his mug, when he thought for the first time that there might just be someone who needed it more. It never occurred to him before in his love of coffee that anyone else could be more deserving, but looking at Derek Morgan he felt in a new self-sacrificing mood.

Morgan still smiled when he saw Reid. "Hey, Loverboy." Reid cringed at this nickname. Knowing Morgan didn't mean it the way it sounded and all the nicknames were just ways of making fun of him. Boring, prude, Reid. "Who'd you hook up with last night? Elle? J.J.? Both?"

If Reid had been drinking coffee, at this point he would have spit it out. "Both? Does that even happen in real life?"

"Normally, I would say no. But you saw them last night. They were all over you. They would have if you asked," Morgan said. Then he laughed, like it was amusing. Face lit up like a Christmas tree. Reid would have given anything to know what that laugh meant.

"No, thanks. Like I need to be that guy who hooked up with two chicks he works with, especially at the same time. And to answer your first question, I didn't hook up with anyone."

Morgan looked disheartened at this. His face was no longer full of usual energy and he was looking like the mess he was when he walked in. Morgan rubbed his temples and groaned.

"Bad hangover?" Reid asked, already knowing the answer.

"Forget the hangover," Morgan said. "I did something really stupid last night."

Reid liked this part of the 'best friend' role. He liked being the one Morgan told things too. It made him feel special, maybe even a little superior to all the women Morgan slept with. Of course that didn't mean that he didn't want to cover Morgan in chocolate syrup and slowly lick it all off, one body part at a time, but Reid tried not to think about that. "Yeah? Something or someone?"

"Something. I mean someone. Not that the someone is stupid..." Morgan said, quieter now so the entire office didn't hear. Reid could see he was really struggling to deal with what he had done. His eyes were tired and he kept fidgeting, unsure of what to do with himself. Morgan looked as if he had aged several years since the night before. Reid waited for the rest of the story, knowing his friend would eventually be unable to stand the silence and would explain himself.

He was right. Morgan surveyed the room making sure no one was listening and leaned in closer. Reid felt a shiver of desire as Morgan practically brushed up against his ear to whisper.

"...Garcia."

Reid stood dumbfounded. Morgan hadn't moved away and he had to force himself not to focus on that. "No. You didn't."

"Yes, I did." Morgan now leaned against the counter as if he needed support to hold himself. He faced away from Reid with his head hanging down in shame.

"How did that happen?"

"I was drunk... She drove me home. Kissed me. Asked if she could come in. I told her it could never happen again..."

Reid bit his lip to keep from smiling. It couldn't happen again. A one night stand. He didn't like her. "At least she knows then. Here, have some coffee." He poured the rest of the pot into Morgan's mug and started another pot.

"Thanks," Morgan said and smiled. But Reid knew Morgan didn't understand the sacrifice he was making. And certainly not what it meant. "Have you ever told a girl that, Reid?"

"No, I can't say I have." Reid made sure he didn't sound bitter. He didn't want Morgan to feel like a bad person.

Morgan downed his coffee. "Good. They don't believe you anyway."

"Good?" Reid asked, not having the slightest clue what his friend could have meant by it.

"It's good that you don't have to."

"Oh." So that's what it meant. Morgan needed to say it. Needed all his lovers to know that there wasn't a chance he might wake up in the morning and want to see them again. _Why take them at all?_ Reid sometimes wondered.

They went quiet for a while. Reid figured that meant Morgan didn't want to talk anymore. But there was one more thing he wanted to ask. He didn't want to lose his nerve. "Morgan?"

"Yeah?"

"Why were you so depressed yesterday, anyway?" Reid put his hands in his pockets nervously. He could have really used some coffee at that point.

Morgan was still leaning against the counter, but now facing Reid. "What makes you think I was depressed yesterday?" His voice serious. The one he uses when he says, "_Do you want to talk about it?_"

Reid felt more shy than ever, and considered just leaving it be. But he said what he thought. Even if it was soft as a mouse. "You always have one-night-stands when you're depressed."

Morgan took a deep breath, slowly in and out. Reid was sure Morgan was mad at him beyond measure. "I'm not sure I like you profiling me."

Not mad. Gentle. Like talking to a child. Reid could have just left it, but he had to press on. He had come so far already. Might as well go out and say it. "Because you have something to hide." It wasn't a question. Morgan turned away. He rubbed his temples and didn't answer.

Reid's heart was beating a mile a minute and he felt entirely panicked, but he also felt brave enough to say the next thing. The thing he has wanted to say for months.

"It's okay. Yeah, I know. But I won't tell anybody. Your secret's safe with me." Reid smiled, trying to be reassuring.

Morgan in turn looked incredulous. "What secret?"

_The one about you not liking women_, Reid thought. Out loud he said, "How many secrets do you have, that you don't know which I mean?"

The conversation got to be too much for Morgan, Reid guessed, because he was walking away with a puzzled expression on his tired, hung-over face. Did he really have that many secrets that he couldn't guess? Or was he wondering if Reid was bluffing? Denial was another likely option.

_That's okay, Morgan. You don't have to say a word. I can be just friends if you want to be. I'll be whatever you want me to be_, Reid thought.

The new pot of coffee was done, but Reid was no longer interested.

* * *

Next thing he knew, Reid was being pulled into Garcia's office. (By the wrist, the same way she dragged Morgan to bed the night before, but Spencer didn't know that.) She looked positively glowing.

"Oh my God, Reid. You're never going to guess what happened last night!"

Reid sat down on the only chair in the office, knowing he would be there for a while. "Actually... I don't have to guess. You slept with Morgan."

"Okay, you're no fun." Garcia pouted for a second, but couldn't hold it up. Reid could see she was too happy. "It was so amazing!"

_This is bad. Very, very bad_, Reid thought.

Then Garcia tells him everything. Every little detail. Reid hardly pays attention. Not only does he hate to think of Morgan doing anything with someone else, but he spends most of her speech imagining what it would be like if he had been the one to take Morgan home the night before.

When she finished her rant, she was still smiling. Reid thought she never looked so beautiful or happy. He also knew that he would have to be the one to ruin her perfect smile.

"Were you even listening, Reid?" Garcia asked.

"Yeah, I was," Reid said. "It's just... You seem to have missed the part where he said 'It can never happen again.'"

Smile faded. Her frown corrupted her beaming beauty. "Well, doesn't he just tell you _everything_. It's okay. I'll make him change his mind." She winked.

Reid knew she wasn't going to be happy, but he had to say it anyway. It was for her own good. "I don't think he's going to change his mind."

Then there wasn't a trace of joy or hope on Garcia's face. "Did you have to say that Reid? Could you not have let me just me happy for like, a day? Am I not allowed to have even a little hope?"

"I didn't mean it like that... I wasn't trying to upset you."

"Well you did a heck of a job of that. Get out of my office," Garcia said, opening the door. As soon as Reid stepped out she slammed the door.

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**A/N: Well, I did it. I updated promptly like I said. Expect three more like this, and then I've got to write some sort of epilogue. That might take a while. I don't know.**

**For anyone who pays attention to the stories I write and the rants I have about which one's next, I still have no idea. I'm working on a billion different things right now. No idea yet as to when I'll post them. So yeah, sorry I can't be more informative. I've just been going whichever way the wind blows me.**

**I really like this chapter. I hope you do too. I've got to say it though, I would really like it if you took the time to review. To be totally honest, I was sad I didn't get more for the first chapter. I like to know what people think about what I write! Anyways, thanks for reading. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**It's come to my attention that people find this story depressing. To be honest, I'm surprised. I'm not sure if you'll be any happier after reading this chapter…**

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It was a long, grueling case that week, but several of the team members didn't mind because it meant they never had a chance to talk to each other about anything else.

Reid and Morgan would sometimes stare at each other, wondering what the other was thinking until the other would notice and they would turn away embarrassed. It didn't seem to affect their professional relationship. Still friends, still close. Just one topic they couldn't bring up in front of everyone else. They didn't mind. They could wait.

J.J. and Elle both didn't want to talk about the night at the bar. They were telling themselves that they wouldn't have really gone through with it. Wondering what they had been thinking. Embarrassed to look anyone in the eye. The case was a welcome distraction. Maybe no one would ever mention it again. Maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Morgan had called Garcia to run checks a couple of times. It wasn't terribly awkward. They were both still friendly to each other, but careful to tone down the pet names. They never discussed what had happened.

Reid had not talked to Garcia since she had kicked him out of her office.

When they got back to the office, Reid wanted to leave as soon as possible. He shoved his unfinished paperwork in his bag and tried to escape subtly, without being noticed.

Keyword: _Tried_.

"Hey, Pretty Boy," Morgan said, intercepting him before he even had a chance to leave his cubicle. "Need a ride home?"

Reid cursed himself for ever saying anything to Morgan. He couldn't even look him in the eye. About the last thing on the planet he wanted to do was get a ride with Morgan when he could imagine the undoubtedly awkward conversation they were about to have. But he couldn't think of any way to refuse without looking like he was avoiding Morgan. In truth, he did need a ride. "Sure."

They talked about the case for a little while -idle conversation just to have something to say- but almost as soon as they got into Morgan's car, it went silent. Reid couldn't think of anything to make it less awkward.

_Kill me now_, he thought. He pictured himself taking a knife to his stomach and twisting it round and round until he bled out.

Morgan tapped his hands nervously on the wheel. He was obviously no more comfortable. "Okay, I've got to say it. Tell me what you meant."

At this point in Reid's imagination, he is dead in a puddle of blood slumped in the chair. Morgan is saying, "He ruined my seat, but at least I got out of having that conversation."

"What I meant by what?" Reid asked.

Morgan laughed. "Don't play dumb with me. You know damn well what I'm talking about. This supposed secret I have. Go on. Tell me what it is. Prove yourself right. A master profiler." Reid could hear the fury in his voice.

"You know what I mean. I can tell," Reid said. He was almost sure he was right. Morgan was just mad at him because he was embarrassed. Of his secret that wasn't such a secret anymore.

"Then why don't you just say it?" Morgan asked.

Reid shook his head. He wouldn't say it. He had a mild fear that he was wrong, but he was more concerned about being right. Reid could tell Morgan was trying to hide his anger, but it wasn't working. He would blow up if Reid said it.

"Why don't you just say it? We both know what it is," Reid said. He was sick of this game, and starting to get a little angry himself.

"No."

Reid decided acting mad was not the best tactic. When he spoke again, it was gentler. After all, he cared about Morgan and could understand what he was going through. It was stupid for them to be mad at each other. "Is it really that horrible that you can't even say it? Even when you know that I know?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

Silence again. _Well that went well_, Reid thought.

Eventually, he got up the nerve to speak. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be upset you. I shouldn't have said anything."

Then Morgan didn't look mad anymore. "It's okay. Don't beat yourself up over it. You're a good friend, Reid."

Reid brightened at this. He was no longer picturing himself as a corpse.

"You, too." Reid smiled. "You know... it doesn't make you any less of a person. No one will think any different of you."

Morgan put the car in park. As soon as they didn't need to escape each other's company, they had reached Reid's place. _Of course_.

"Yeah, I guess I know that," Morgan said.

That caught Reid off guard. "Then why is it so important no one knows?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm glad to finally get that off my chest. And if anyone has to know... I'm happy it's you." A pretty little smile now planted on Morgan's face.

Spencer couldn't even believe he had been so worried. This was going better than he ever could have expected.

Then Reid got a crazy idea. "Thanks. Umm... I don't know what to say. I've never done this before, but... W-would you like to come in? For some 'coffee'?" The air brackets were audible in his voice.

Morgan's smile evaporated. He obviously understood the subtext. And wasn't too happy about it. "Reid. What are you saying, man?"

"You know what I'm saying. Just once. Then we'll never talk about it again. Please?"

Reid could no longer look at Morgan's face because it has been replaced with white hot anger. "You thought that was the secret," Morgan mumbled. Then he yelled. "Do you even hear what you're saying? You sound like a fucking woman!"

_Oh, God. I was wrong. He's not gay. And I said... that. He hates me. Everyone's going to tell everyone about this and they'll hate me together_, Reid thought. He also was thinking suicide was probably the best option. He couldn't live with this. He'd just put a gun in his mouth and blow his troubles away...

"I'm sorry. I just thought..." Reid said, unsuccessfully trying to hold back tears.

"Just thought what?" Morgan said. "Just thought you'd have what everyone else is having?"

"It's not that..."

Morgan held Reid's face with one hand, forcing Reid to look in his eye. "Listen to me carefully, Reid. You shouldn't be doing this. You're better than this. I don't want you ever doing something like this again." He let go of Reid's face. "God. Why would you want to do something like _that_ with someone like _me_? I thought you were smarter than that. I thought you were different."

Spencer Reid snapped. He was crying more than a little. "You're such a jerk, Morgan! You sleep with women all the time and never see them again. You're the biggest slut I know. And just once when I... When I want someone who just happens to be the same gender as me, suddenly I'm the horrible person? Fuck you, Morgan."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Reid? That's not why I'm mad at all. I was mad because I was trying to protect you from me. Because you have that low of self-esteem that you would have a fucking one-night-stand." Morgan was looking the opposite way. "Jesus Christ, Spencer. Don't you get it? I'm angry because I love you!"

Reid was never more furious in his life. Who did Morgan think he was, acting all high and mighty? "Yeah, well, did you ever consider that I love you, too?" He yelled and got out of the car, slamming the door.

Morgan got out of the car and yelled, "Spencer, wait!" But Reid was already running away. He considered going back to talk to him, but what good could that possibly do? He already felt as if Morgan had slowly cut out his internal organs without any kind of anesthetic.

Somewhere in his mind he realized that Morgan thought he was talking about a different secret. But Reid didn't bother to waste more than a second on it. Instead he wiped the tears off his face and thought, _Did Derek Morgan just say he loved me_?

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**A/N: This was a bitch to edit. And I'm still not happy with it in places, but I like the content of the chapter. Stupid question, does anyone ever read their old stories and actually have anxiety reading them waiting for what's going to happen next? Because I totally did when going back to this one.**

**Thanks for reading, and please, please review. Reviews are the salt of life. :) Next chapter will be up tomorrow!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I agonized and agonized over how much to edit out of this chapter. I seriously debated whether to leave the entire first section out. Then I thought about shortening it to the last few paragraphs. But there's a few tidbits in here that I just couldn't do without, so I ended up leaving this chapter entirely intact. So, basically I'm think most of the first section is boring (sorry) and I love the second section. **

**All very interesting, but who cares? (I was going to give someone a big hug if they could tell me where I got that expression from, but then I remembered it was my old math tutor.)**

* * *

Fortunately, the next day was Saturday, which was good because Reid would not have been able to handle going to work after that. Unfortunately, he barely got a wink of sleep. He woke up at four after a brief, unsatisfying slumber and at six he decided it wasn't worth trying to sleep anymore.

_What time does it have to be before it doesn't seem weirdly early to show up to someone's house unannounced?_ Reid wondered. Maybe ten. No, that was too early. It was a Saturday, which meant Morgan would probably be sleeping in. Twelve seemed reasonable. Something a sane person would do. Just popping by to see a friend in the middle of the day... Nothing special...

_Great_, Spencer thought. _Now I have six hours to kill_.

He got up, threw on his glasses, and made a pot of coffee, still in his pajamas. Poured himself a cup and drank it while reading the paper. Tore off his clothes and took an extra slow shower. Shaved. Tried to do something with his hair (going for that just woke-up look that everyone seemed to love. He hoped it wouldn't make him look like he was trying too hard.) Then he ripped through his drawers wondering what clothes he had that could possibly suit the occasion. The kind that look good, but don't look like you're trying to look good. It was a tricky concept.

Reid groaned and collapsed onto his bed, wearing only a towel. He didn't like any of the options. All of his clothes were dorky. But he didn't want to look like he had cared at all when he got dressed. Problem was, he cared a lot. Finally he decided on t-shirt, a hoodie, and jeans. Something that most people wear. Casual. Perfect. He just looked as if he was dressed for the weekend.

Spencer examined himself in the mirror. He fluffed his hair so it looked just right and thought that he really did look like he just rolled out of bed. Success. He went back to his bedroom and looked at the clock.

**7:46 am.**

He sighed. It was going to be a very long day. Reid downed another cup of coffee and went for breakfast by himself, purposely picking a restaurant far away so he could kill more time. A ditzy looking blonde tried to sit with Reid, but he politely declined her offer. He sat by himself for a long time doing nothing but telling himself that he would not go to Morgan's before twelve and wondering what he would say when he got there. Wondering if anything he could say could fix what he had done.

_Reid wandered around in the streets after leaving the restaurant with his hands in his pockets._

_Just tell him you're sorry._

_Then what?_

_Tell him what you said was stupid and that it'll never happen again. That you should just be friends._

_But he said he loved me..._

_So what? He probably says that to all the skanks he sleeps with. He didn't mean it. What could he possibly want with someone like you?_

The conflicting voices in Reid's head made him want to pull his hair out. He thought about grabbing his hair and tugging just to relieve a little of the pressure, but thinking of his perfectly sculpted messy hair he restrained himself. They stopped then because the second voice did not have an answer to that question. What could Morgan want with him?

**9:35 am.**

Two and a half hours left.

Reid was doing whatever he could think of to kill time. Listening to street musicians and giving them change. Looking in bookstores and movie rental places. Eventually he had to go get another cup of coffee.

**11:26 am.**

Almost time. If Reid walked back to his car and drove over, it would be after twelve. Excellent. Except that he was too nervous. Nothing he could say seemed even remotely satisfactory. Still he walked back in the direction of his car and suddenly came up with an idea.

He stopped at a flower stand. Reid knew Morgan would know that he would never pick out meaningless flowers. So they had to have a meaning. But how do you say, "Let's just be friends and forget this ever happened!" with flowers? And was that even what he wanted to say?

The girl at the stand must have noticed that he looked puzzled. She looked to be in her late twenties and her arms were covered in tattoos. "Never bought flowers for a girl before?"

"Can't say I have," Reid said, conversationally.

"You can't go wrong with roses. Good for getting ladies to drop their panties," the girl said.

Reid laughed. "No, no. That's almost exactly the opposite of what I want."

"You've lost me..."

"Well, we were just friends, but then I ruined it completely by trying to sleep with him and then he said he loved me, but I ran away because I was mad, even though I love him too, but it's really far too complicated and I think we should probably just stay friends because he could never be happy with me." Reid said all this in one breath, faster than he ever spoke before. It didn't help that he had already had five cups of coffee or that the thought of anyone hearing what he had just said had his heart beating at 180 BPM. Had he really just said that out loud?

The flower girl looked genuinely distressed. "Okay, wow. I don't know how to help you. Let me think about this for a second."

"Do you have any Hydrangeas?" Reid asked. The flower of a heartfelt apology. He figured he couldn't go wrong with that.

"Shit. No," the flower girl said. "Jeez, I'm sorry man. I thought we had flowers for every occasion, but boy, was I wrong about that."

Reid scanned around, looking at what they had. Something caught his eye. "How about that?"

The flower girl raised an eyebrow. "Sure, whatever you want." Reid handed her a wad of bills. "This is none of my business or anything, but you said he could never be happy with you? I don't know why you think that. Anyone would be lucky to have you. I would be happy if my boyfriend remembered my birthday. And you put this much effort into picking out the perfect flower to say just what you mean it to. And my boyfriend's half as cute. What I'm trying to say is... I think you should go for it. He said he loved you. You love him. What's so complicated about that?"

"Thanks," Reid said, blushing. He was oddly flattered. It was 11:52 am, and Spencer Reid was more confused than he had ever been in his life.

* * *

Spencer thought it would be fitting for there to be a huge storm, and he would arrive drenched and heartbroken in the middle of the night. It was midday in the spring and the sun was shining brightly.

He stood at Morgan's door with a bouquet of flowers, shaking slightly and chewing on his lip. He rang the doorbell before he had the chance to change his mind and then damned himself for not waiting until he thought of something to say. It seemed to take forever before Morgan answered the door, and Reid was having a small panic attack the whole time.

"Spencer? I'm glad you're here. Come in."

That hadn't been what Reid was expecting, but it sounded alright. They walked over to the couch and sat awkwardly at the opposite ends of each other.

"So, why'd you come?" Morgan asked.

That was a really, really good question. Spencer looked at his hands while he spoke. "I don't know. I guess to say I'm sorry? I shouldn't have said those things. It was really, really, stupid." Then as if he were just remembering the bouquet he handed it to Morgan. "I bought you these."

"You bought me sunflowers?" Morgan asked. Reid couldn't tell if he was confused or amused. "What do they mean?"

"A common misconception is that they just symbolize happiness, but in actuality they represent adoration, loyalty, and longevity," Spencer said.

Morgan shook his head. "No. I mean what do they mean coming from you?"

_Dammit. What's the point of saying it with flowers if you have to explain yourself anyway?_ Reid thought.

"...I guess I wanted to say that I care about you and I can't stand the thought of you not being in my life," Spencer said.

Morgan moved over into the center couch cushion, in order to be closer to Reid. "Then why didn't you just say that?" Spencer just shrugged, still looking at his hands and sitting right up against the arm of the couch to avoid any type of closeness. "Spencer, you're so confusing. Just tell me what you want from me."

Reid started panicking again and was breathing heavy. How could he possibly answer that? What he wanted to say was whatever Derek wanted. But he was afraid Morgan would go off again if he said that. Spencer wanted Morgan all to himself but what if that wasn't the answer that Derek was looking for? What if he ruined their chances of ever being friends again?

"Easy, kid. Breathe," Morgan said, patting Spencer on the back. "I'm not going to get mad at you, no matter what okay? Please, just don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Just relax for a minute and tell me the truth."

Spencer did as he was told. Trying to calm himself down had little effect, however. He was almost paralyzed thinking about how his next message would be received. "I want to be with you. I want us to be together, like a real couple. Just you and me. But only, if that's what you want." The last sentence was added quickly, like the side effects of medication on a TV commercial.

"I do want that, Spencer. I do," Morgan said, placing an arm around Reid's shoulder. "I meant what I said yesterday. Well, not that bad parts. But the part where I said I love you. And you have nothing to be sorry for. I was the one being an ass. ...Are you crying?"

Spencer wiped the tears away from his eyes. Morgan held him, pressing Spencer's face close against his chest. "Babe, there's no need for that. Everything worked out okay, didn't it?"

Reid nodded a very little while his head was still leaning against Derek's chest. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying. Really."

When Spencer's sobs subdued, Derek handed him a box of Kleenex. "I think I owe you an explanation." Morgan laid down on his back with his feet resting in Reid's lap. Spencer thought he looked an awful lot like a therapy client.

"An explanation for what?" Reid asked.

Morgan laughed. "Aren't you even a little curious as to why I have a habit of sleeping with random women when I'm not even attracted to them?"

"The thought had crossed my mind," Spencer said.

"Because I didn't want anyone to see there was something wrong with me," Derek said.

Reid frowned, unimpressed. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"Yes, there is. I hate myself. I've never been happy since..."

Of course. Since the trigger. There was always a trigger. "Since what?" Spencer asked timidly. He leaned back and rested his head on Derek's chest.

Morgan absently stroked Reid's hair. "Since I was a kid. I mean when I was fifteen, I was... abused. He ran this youth center. He sealed my criminal record and I really needed scholarships and to go to college. I needed to get out of there. I never said anything to anyone."

"Oh, Derek. I'm so sorry," Spencer said. He looked up into Derek's eyes to see they were blank.

"Yeah. That's what secret I thought you knew. I was so paranoid that anyone would find out," Morgan said.

Suddenly it all made sense. The parades of women designed to throw everyone off. The unhappiness the next day. Why Morgan had deemed himself unworthy of Reid's affection and got so angry at the suggestion of a one night stand with someone he cared about. Morgan wanted to hide his secret, but he couldn't stand the thought of hurting someone he loved.

It was then that Spencer realized how broken his friend really was. All that confidence, all of his smooth-talking, was all just a shield for something much deeper. It was then that Spencer forgave Derek completely.

"Spencer, I don't want to sleep with you," Derek said suddenly, like he couldn't contain himself from blurting this out.

"That's okay," Spencer said, gently caressing Derek's face. He wondered if Morgan meant he didn't want to sleep with him now or ever.

Morgan seemed to sense what he was thinking. "I want to take this slow. I want to make this last. When we do it, I want it to be special."

"I want that, too," Reid said. He kissed Morgan.

It was then that the door swung open, but they were both too distracted to hear it. Garcia walked in to find Spencer lying on top of Derek straddling his waist and kissing him passionately.

"Oh, God. I'll come back later..." Garcia said, she covered her eyes. She didn't want to look, but she had to peek and see if the girl was prettier than her...

Spencer shot up when he heard her.

"Reid?" Garcia asked. Her voice was incredulous.

No one knew what to say. Garcia's eyes were filling up with tears, and she ran out.

Spencer got up regretfully and ran after her. "Garcia!" But she ran quicker. Even in her heels and tight skirt. Reid went back inside. "Well, shit," he said.

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**A/N: Oh snap! I have a feeling people are going to be pretty upset and or happy about this! I just want to thank everyone who's reviewed this, put it on story alert, favorited it, or even just read it. You fill my life with total joy! When I opened my inbox this morning I was slapped in the face with new alerts! :) You guys all rock!**

**Fun fact: The first paragraph in the section was how I intended to start it, and then I thought that was total crap so I started over, which would be the second paragraph. But I forgot to delete the crap paragraph, and when I went back to read it, it totally worked and even flowed with the other start. Spooky! (I know, my use of the word fun is extremely liberal...)**


	5. Chapter 5

At about six the next morning, Reid's phone rang. He hoped it was Garcia calling to tell him that she wasn't mad. Of course, he knew it wasn't. It was Hotch.

"Can you come in today? New case," Hotch said.

Reid agreed. They always came in for cases, no matter when they were called. Six o'clock on Sunday morning was far from the most inconvenient time the team had been called in. Normally, Spencer would have been happy to go to work on a Sunday, but he was dreading seeing Garcia. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't want to do it at work of all places. Why did life have to be like this? As soon as Spencer had worked things out with Morgan, someone else hated him.

When he got to work no one had received the case files yet. Desks were empty. It wasn't a surprise. Reid was often the first one here on "surprise cases." Still, he had to check Garcia's office to see if she was there. Spencer took a deep breath and entered.

"Go away, Reid," Garcia said. "You are like the last person I want to talk to right now. Well, maybe second last. But still! Get out."

"No," Spencer said. "I came to apologize."

The techie genius turned her chair around to face Reid, but looked unimpressed. "So apologize."

That was the moment Reid realized he had no idea why he should be apologizing. He had been honest with her that Morgan was not interested, that wasn't wrong. Maybe he shouldn't have gone for a guy he knew his best friend had feelings for, but weren't his feelings just as legitimate? "I'm sorry I upset you."

"Not good enough."

"Garcia, I'm really trying here, but I don't know what you want me to say. I understand why you're upset, but I don't see any reason why you should actually be mad at me," Reid said, sitting on the floor.

"I'm not so much mad as disappointed in you. Why would you do that, Reid?" Garcia asked.

Spencer bit his lip. "I never meant to hurt you..."

"No, Reid. I mean why would you sleep with him? You know how he is. After all the girls you've seen him take home. After I made the same stupid mistake and he can't even look me in the eye. Why would you go sleep with him, Reid?"

"I haven't slept with him yet," Spencer said.

Garcia looked beyond pissed. "Yet? YET? You're still planning too! YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT REID! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD ANYTHING I JUST SAID?"

"I'm sorry," Spencer said, knowing he sounded pathetic. "But it's not like that..."

"Are you really that naive? Reid, of course it's like that," Garcia yelled. She continued softly. "Sweetie, you can't change him. No one can. He's a complete jerk."

Spencer realized she was mad at him for making the same mistakes she had made. It was understandable, but still he didn't like her talking about Morgan that way. "Okay, I realize he doesn't have a great track record. He may be a lot of things, but he isn't a liar. He never lied to you, right?"

"Well, no..." Garcia mumbled. "What did he say to you?"

"He said he wanted us to be a real couple. He wants to take it slow and make it last." Spencer paused for a second. "Garcia, he said he loved me."

Garcia let out a squeal. "Oh, my God! Reid, why didn't you just tell me that? That's so adorable! Tell me everything!"

Spencer was astounded. "I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction... I'll tell you later, okay? Any minute and we're going to be called in to discuss the new case," Reid said.

"Oh, and about Morgan and I... We're not exactly telling people yet. Okay?"

Garcia mimed zipping her lips. "Don't worry about it. Your secret's safe with me."

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**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so tiny! But I had to leave it there because the ending line is so strong. Unfortunately, I regret to tell you my stock of written chapters has run out. You think I would have started writing the next chapter when I started posting this story… but apparently I'm too stupid for that. Plus, I've been writing Trembling Abyss and a few other things. So I don't know when I'll update next, but I promise I won't take forever because the readers of this story are far too nice to me.**

**I kind of think that maybe it was too easy how I made Garcia forgive him. But at the same time, I can totally see Garcia react this way. Anyways, I thought it was cute. Maybe people won't be depressed anymore? Tell me what you think.**

**I'll try to update ASAP! I am a woman on a mission!**

**(Oh, and if anyone cares, I briefly considered leaving this as the last chapter. But no! Then we wouldn't get to see _anything_ about Morgan and Reid once in relationship mode. What fun would that be?)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took forever to update! (I'm not sure if it was FOREVER in my mind or everyone's.) I've been super busy with work and a bunch of other stuff, so I have had very little time for fanfiction lately. And the rest of the week isn't looking very good… I think I have an addiction to fanfiction. I mean, I seriously think I was going through withdrawal symptoms. I still am. I will be till I'm all caught up! Anyways, enjoy!**

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A few months later, Spencer and Derek were a fully established couple, even if they weren't exactly 'public' yet. They were sitting on Morgan's couch and watching a documentary. It had only seemed appropriate because Morgan had made Spencer watch a football game last time, even if he didn't pay any attention. Reid had mostly complained about the stupidity and inherent masculinity of sports, prattled on about injury statistics, and distracted Morgan with kisses and tickles. Not that the documentary had been much different. Only this time the statistics were about everything under the sun besides sports, and ironically the complaining was about Morgan not paying attention to the movie.

"Derek, do you even have any idea what this movie is about?" Reid asked.

Morgan had a vague idea it was about trade in developing countries or something like that. "Nope. You're too distracting." He tussled Reid's hair affectionately.

Spencer groaned and buried his face in Morgan's shoulder. "Derek, you're such a jerk!"

They stayed like that the whole movie -arguing, cuddling, and flirting. By the time it finished, it was late and they both had work in the morning.

Spencer sighed deeply. "I don't want to go home."

Morgan studied his face, judging the seriousness of this outburst. "So don't."

Reid was shocked at first. But when he thought about it, why should he be? They had been together for months. Why should it be so strange that Morgan should want to drag him to bed? Still, Spencer felt nervous. He wasn't sure if he was ready. "Derek, are you saying you want to..." He let his words hang in the air unspoken, understood.

Morgan looked nervous too.

"I wasn't saying that. I was just thinking you could stay over and we could cuddle or something... I mean about the other thing... We could if you wanted to," Morgan said. He sounded worried about the second part.

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. Let's save that for another time. Cuddling sounds really good," Spencer said shyly.

Derek took Spencer by the hand, locking their fingers together and directing him gently towards the bedroom. Upon arrival, Reid suddenly felt nervous to the point of near panic. Had there really been a time when he planned to spend one hot night with Morgan and have to look at him the next day at work as 'just friends'? Now he was freaking out just thinking about sleeping in the same bed as his boyfriend, whom he trusted implicitly.

Spencer was full-on panicking when Morgan started undoing his belt, and then proceeded to remove his pants and socks. Not that he minded seeing Morgan in fewer clothes, but he was ashamed of his own body. Derek threw his shirt off and Reid just stood by stupidly in a mixture of awe and desperate fear.

"You're going to sleep in that?" Morgan asked, amused.

By that he was referring to Reid's khaki pants, dress shirt, and patented sweater vest. All-in-all not very comfortable sleep attire. "No, but..."

"But what?" Morgan asked.

"You're _so_... And _I'm_ so..." Spencer was having a hard time finding the words he was looking for. He was staring at Derek in all his chocolaty glory. Reid wanted to say "You're so perfect and I'm so repulsive." Looking at his lover's perfect muscles just made him all the more self-conscious about how pale and scrawny he was. _What does he see in me anyway?_

Morgan laughed. "Opposites attract, so they say."

"Derek, that is the worst example of opposites attract ever," Spencer said, smiling in spite of himself. "I'm just a little embarrassed, okay? You can't laugh or anything."

"Spencer, you have nothing to worry about. Why would I laugh at you?" Morgan said.

Reid was still reluctant. "Okay..."

"Just do it. Sweetheart, I've been dying to see you striptease." Derek laid down on the bed and put his arms behind his head, waiting for the show.

"Now I don't just have to take off my clothes, I have to do it in a sexy way?" Spencer whined, even though he was secretly pleased at Morgan's interest.

Derek winked at him. "I'm sure however you do it will be sexy."

Spencer nervously took off his sweater vest. Next he went to unbutton his shirt, but his hands were shaking too hard and the buttons wouldn't undo so he decided to take off his pants first, followed by his socks. Reid steadied his hands and undid his shirt slowly and threw it on the floor. He didn't look in Morgan's direction, too scared of his reaction.

"Come here, Pretty Boy," Derek said, patting the spot next to him on the bed. "Why are you so nervous? Spencer, you're the most beautiful person I've ever known, not a word of a lie."

Spencer crawled into bed, and Morgan tentatively went in for a well-received kiss. It was soft and sweet and Spencer's hands made themselves at home all over Morgan's back. There was something new to this kiss. Reid found himself enjoying the feel of their bare torsos rubbing up against each other more than he had anticipated. He had to concentrate on keeping himself from getting too excited, but still he found it impossible to resist the urge to run his hands over Derek's six-pack.

He had to pull away, for fear they might go too far and never be able to come back from it. "We should get some sleep," Reid said, even though he didn't want to sleep at all. But they did have work in six hours.

"Sure. I love you, Spencer," Derek said, adjusting to a comfortable sleeping position and kissing his boyfriend on the back of his ear. Reid couldn't seize a shiver.

"I love you, too," Spencer said, wanting to give his lover a goodnight peck, but Morgan had already found the perfect place holding him close, Spencer's back pressed against Derek's chest. Reid didn't want to disrupt this, so he kissed Morgan's bicep, which was sprawled out under his neck. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, hon," Derek said.

Spencer laid there long after Morgan fell asleep, just enjoying the feel of Morgan beside him and listening to his slow, even breathing. He just kept thinking, _Out of all the people who've slept in this bed, I'm the only one who ever got to do this. I'm the one he picked. I'm the one he loves._

Spencer Reid fell asleep with a big smile on his face; almost identical to the one Derek Morgan wore beside him.

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**A/N: Okay, I've got to write this before I forget everything I have to say! I've been told it's not good to comment on my own writing, so I won't for this chapter even though it makes me sad not to.**

**I'm not sure whether this is the end or not! I had originally intended to write this chapter as the end, then I figured I would write a few more, and now I'm thinking that I like how this chapter looks for the end even though it totally wasn't where I originally thought I was going to go (I was going to go into what happened to other characters.) I just like how it's such a parallel from the first chapter. I mean when I look at how Morgan and Garcia ended up in bed and how awful it was and how happy Morgan and Reid are in bed in an entirely different situation, I'm like CLOSURE! Which makes me think this is a good place to finish it. Which makes me a little sad. I'm always sad to finish things… OH MY GOD! Epiphany! The reason I never finish anything is a deep psychological urge to hang onto it forever… I must use this knowledge to my advantage!**

**Erm… anyway. Let me know if you think it should end here. I'll probably just do whatever I feel like, but still it's nice to know. I might be inspired.**

**Other nonsense: I've been saving that Worst Example of Opposites Attract Ever joke for a long time. I never thought I would use it in this fic, but I guess it works. I was going to save it for something full of super funny. But oh well! Originally Morgan was going to say that he was too distracted by Reid's beauty. But it weirded me out a little, so I changed it. Also, ever since I re-read this and saw the "this kiss" part, I've had that song stuck in my head. You know the one? That's the only lyrics I remember, I haven't heard the song in years. Maybe you're too young to remember?**


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